Floating Through Change

 Ever since joining the Loyola University of Maryland community, I have undergone plenty of adjustment and change to overwhelm me. As a third year transfer, I feel like I am on a raft lost at sea just trying to find the land in the distance. Trying not to drown in the change, but try to embrace the beauty of the rough waves surrounding me. Life at Loyola is far more different than what it used to be for me.

My experiences thus far haven't been smooth sailing. I have truly been humbled. Coming from a school previously with a lighter education, I have completely altered my way of thinking. With what used to be a light skim to get the gist of a reading has now turned to rereading the passage 5 times to ensure that I fully understand every single detail. 

A lack for educational standards has been elevated to the fullest. I take my education extremely serious now. Previously breezing by and attaining A's in a snap of a finger, I learn that true educators take their time and care to edit and evaluate the work that is being put forward. My thought process toward word choice and diction in paper writing has become a challenge. Trying to search for the perfect words to bring out the best in my writing skills.

It is a beautiful feeling inside knowing that I have educators to support me. I get a warm, fuzzy feeling inside when I receive feedback from my work. Professors are incredibly specific in how to better yourself. This isn't something that I am used to. Thus far, I have received nothing but excellent guidance and felt comfort. 

At least 3 days a week, I have an overwhelming flood of anxiety wash over me when I sit down and think about the work that I need to get done. A heavy work load is easily obtainable when you are an English major, but not when you are an English major with two jobs and family members to take care of. This is when I feel the most blessed to be apart of the Greyhound family...

Odd to think that having all of these crazy attributes taking up my time, but my professors and Loyola family is nothing short of supportive. If I can make a deadline right on the dot, professors don't scold you for time management, rather they let you know it is okay if it is a little bit late. Offering suggestions left and right to help in anyway. I feel like I can breathe just for a second, just enough to get myself together, just enough to sit back and take a look at the amazing support team in my corner, and then I grind my work out like my life is depending on it. 

Thank God for supportive classmates that share notes and carry great discussion. Thank God for malleable schedules from encouraging professors.

The Jesuit concept is new for me. I grew up at a public high school where cursing people out and "booking" someone was the norm. My family didn't gather the children to send to Sunday school in hopes to find a connection to God. Youth group with other kids and going to camp to acquire the word of God wasn't in my typical summer plans. Being at a Jesuit school is different.

I feel light years behind in understanding the theology that is being spoken in my classroom. Quizzes are actually challenging. I find myself breathing a little heavier and picking at my finger nails while trying to answer questions on the book of Exodus. However, being in these classes has taught me that God is with me and that is something I never saw before. 

I see God in everything. In the acceptance of the struggle that I go through. In the beauty that the campus holds while sitting on the steps at the humanities building studying. I feel lucky to have this break through. I feel stronger and a little more confident. I feel less worried because I know there are ways that everything will fall into place. I am interested in things that I never thought I would be interested in. My eyes are opened and my way of thinking is certainly brighter.